


Sumire's Revenge: Flamethrower of Justice

by Anonymous



Category: McDonaldland, Persona 5, The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald (Cartoon)
Genre: A notch in the McBedpost, Drama, Flamethrowers, Intense, M/M, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Revenge, for the proper emotional impact, holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit, read this work to the sound of the Goronald Nation (tm) playlist, sumire girlbosses, sumire's revenge: plotline, the first arc of the goronald cinematic universe nears a close
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:16:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29551293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Sumire wants revenge. And she TAKES it.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Ronald McDonald
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2
Collections: Anonymous





	Sumire's Revenge: Flamethrower of Justice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fret/gifts).



Now you may be thinking, 

“Flamethrower of Justice? But isn’t that _Akechi’s_ arcana?”

and you would be right.

* * *

“RONALD MCDONALD, YOU SCHEMING WHORE!!”

Ronald stumbles backwards, and Spear of Justice begins playing from an unknown source. He slips on some of the oil on the bed.

“AND GORO AKECHI? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERZ!!?!?”

Akechi gasps, and fell on Ronald, for comfort more than anything. Then, he spoke up.

“Sumire, wait! Why is this called the flamethrower of justice if that’s MY arcan-”

Before he can finish his sentence, she flings a dagger at his neck, narrowly missing and giving him an unsexy haircut instead. Goro immediately begins to cry at the loss of his prettyboy charm.

“Shut the hell UP, you twink bottom bitch. Now listen up. I saw YOUR twinkish ass and HIS clown ass with MY senpai only a few days ago. MY senpai. You're intruding kn some DANGEROUS territory there.”

She approaches just a little bit, the safety of the flamethrower already gone and the canister very much full of flamethrower juice.

“No one fucking messes with my senpai.”

And she points the flamethrower straight at the goronald pair, lying terrified on the bed. Ronald, in a fit of desperation, shoots up and grabs a knife from between the headrest and the mattress.

“Wait-! Sumire, was it? Sumire, please you have to let me and my baby gorl go, my capitalist empire can’t go on without the tears of children and Goro’s yummy pleasure m-”

Sumire then, suddenly, aims the flamethrower to the floor. Akechi and Ronald breathe out a collective sigh of relief, like the air had gotten lighter somehow.

“Oh thank god… Sumire, you have no idea how much that means to me. I don’t know WHAT I’d do without my clown da-”

And she ignites the flamethrower.

Oh fuck.

The oil puddles.

It’s just like that scene in Mulan where she aims for the snow instead of the dude holy shit Sumire is so smart and sexy. Sexier than Ronald, even…?

The McDonald’s Sex Club and Restaurant is set on fire. The entire floor becomes a simulacrum of Hell, absolutely un-walk-on-able. How is Sumire still standing there? Well, she isn’t actually standing. 

“That’s right, fuckers. With the power of FIVE FRIES MURDER SOME GUYS, I can levitate when in dire need. I am more powerful than you could ever imagine.”

Ronald clings to Goro, his baby gorl, the one last thing he has to hold onto as the world caves in.

And Goro clings to a glock. A glock he had previously been using for dubious after-hours uses. Like murder. And sex but mostly murder.

"You'll pay for this, you side character!"

“Muahaha… I am no side character, you clown. I am SUMIRE YOSHIZAWA, major antagonist of the first arc of the Goronald series. And you shall dread the day you crossed me and laid hands on my senpai, Akira Kurusu, food reviewer extraordinaire, associate of Gordon Ramsey’s, and Phantom Thief of Your Man!”

And before Ronald could utter another word, any pitiful comeback at all (haha more like CUM back), Sumire clicked the flamethrower’s trigger and crisped him like a delicious Five Guys burger.

In his final moments, what Sumire had failed to notice was that Ronald had hidden Goro in the secret sex dungeon hidden under each McSex Club and Restaurant bed, by a trapdoor.

But Ronald?

Ronald spoke no more.

Ronald hadn’t even become a burger. Only the steak. The steak being his clown cock, fried to perfection.

Goro waited in the secret sex dungeon, waiting for Ronald to follow after him like he was supposed to, as denoted by page 5 section A of the McPolicy Pamphlet. When he never did, though…

He cried. 

He sobbed for lost love.

Quietly, though. Because loud crying is gay. (In a good way. No one wants to be straight. This is a PSA that crying is not only healthy and cathartic but also very much cool and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you otherwise.)

Long after the inferno had stopped (the firefighters had arrived at the scene and immediately left when they saw which particular building was on fire, glad to see it go), and long after Sumire’s powerful presence could no longer be sensed, Goro remained immobile, wiping his tears on the various cum rags in the basement.

Eventually, he fell into an uneasy sleep on the BDSM torture table. The bed was there, but… he couldn’t lie in it. Not without Ronald.

* * *

But Ronald isn't here.

Ronald is dead forever.

Ronald is gone.

* * *

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, the [Goronald Nation](https://discord.gg/WnGf3TyJdR)! I pledge my ever-dying loyalty to thee, and to all thine citizens, to the john cult and the johnphobes. Amen.


End file.
